I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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