That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
