Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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