So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
