here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
