I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
