Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
The air was thick with penises
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
