Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i've created a new STD.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Who died my cat blue again?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
