I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
