I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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