when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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