so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
