I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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