I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
