thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
the liver wants what the liver wants
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
