I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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