Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you win again, gameday.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
