I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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