i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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