he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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