is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
