Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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