What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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