It's like God shit irony all over that family
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
