i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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