His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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