Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
