there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
