The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
