Nicole vs. Life
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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