i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
