Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
