Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
