home. puking in laundry basket.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
