that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
