Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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