I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
