i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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