I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
