You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
