Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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