All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
