nut hugger
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
