from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I cockslap morals
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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