Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
