i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
