she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
