If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize