you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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