I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
