i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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