i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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