Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
