ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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